To those who say, “Why are you always criticizing America?” I have a simple answer: I don’t know. Why are you always destroying it?
I’m pro-America. I’m just anti-Washington. Sometimes, I think our politicians are pro-Washington and anti-America. (Inspired by Yes, Minister, episode 12.)
If actions speak louder than words, here’s what politicians tell us: I’m all for free speech, just as long as my speech is freer than yours. And freedom is the liberty to do what I tell you to.
Penn and Teller burn a flag, making it magically appear flying from a flagstaff. Even though it’s pretty obvious how the trick is done (probably), this routine always makes me tear up with true patriotism.
Regarding patriotism, so-called: “Europe is soulless?! No spiritual element?! … Maybe there is something good about Europe.” (Penn Jillette, Penn & Teller: Bullshit!, season 5, episode 8.)
When a friend commented that my daughter would grow up to be president, I gasped in horror, “Oh, God, I hope not!”
Americorps has to be one of the most useless, ineffective, purely symbolic wastes of money the federal government has ever come up with. And Bill Clinton boasted of it as his “legacy”… Well, I guess it kind of is.
On the other hand, George W. Bush’s legacy is the TSA and its police-state tactics (and its utter incompetence), and other USA-PATRIOT-style programs.
See, here’s why we need a democrat in the White House: they’re just as vile as the republicans, but at least they’re more fun to laugh at.
I so wish the political party conventions could go on forever, because as soon as they end, Congress returns to session.
“Somebody tell me when Obama doesn’t make a promise he can’t keep, even with all the federal guns pointed at all the taxpayers’ heads.” (Lew Rockwell, The LRC Blog)
“I will go through the federal budget line by line,” Obama said, to which Katherine Mangu-Ward retorted, “Sounds good, but I’ll believe it when I see Staples delivering a gross of highlighters to the Oval Office.”
“Iraq is a peaceful, stable country now.” Oh… You mean McCain didn’t mean that as a demented joke?
Good. I guess we’ll be bringing our troops and guns home, then, and stop sending our sons to die on Iraqi soil?
You’d better order your copy of War on Terror: the Boardgame before it becomes illegal. Just don’t try to take it on an airplane, because you wouldn’t want the TSA to seize it as a weapon and fine you for trying to bring it on board one of their airplanes— er, I mean, on board an airplane.
It’s regularly pointed out that young adults can volunteer to serve in Iraq but are prohibited from buying a beer. But young adults are also free to produce children (many children). A young adult can plan the entire course of his or her life by the age of 21. A young adult can serve on a jury and determine the fate a fellow citizen. If a young adult chooses, he or she can act in pornographic films, gamble nightly, smoke several packs of cigarettes or, in some places, even engage in the truly depraved act of becoming a politician. Yet this same young adult is breaking the law when ordering an appletini?
(David Harsanyi, denverpost.com, “Let’s chuck the drinking age”.)
Meanwhile, Steve Chapman pointed out, “Why permit 18-year-olds to vote but not drink? Because they have not shown a disproportionate tendency to abuse the franchise, to the peril of innocent bystanders,” provoking D.A. Ridgely to respond, “Mr. Chapman, if you don’t think 18 year olds who vote for Republican or Democratic candidates are imperiling innocent bystanders like me, you obviously haven’t been paying attention.”
To be a patriot requires a unique mix of naiveté and paranoia, because one must be both ignorant of human nature and terrified of the world.
To be a government stooge, however, what one really needs is a persistent fear that somewhere nearby consenting adults are doing and saying things that would shock him if he knew what they were.
Actually, the two both sound like the same thing…
What did you learn in school today, dear little boy of mine?
I learned that Washington never told a lie
I learned that soldiers seldom die
I learned that everybody’s free
That’s what the teacher said to me
by Tom Paxton, 1964. Listen to the whole song here, and read the lyrics here.
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